The Purge

My email was hacked!

2009-11-26T20:24:00.001-05:00

You may have gotten an email from my account today that had no subject line and a link to something. Hopefully you didn't click on it because I'm sure it has a virus. I am looking into it and hope to get it cleaned out. In the meantime, know that I don't send emails without subject lines or with links that have no explanation. Sorry for the confusion. Thanks!

Cheers,
Tai

"I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum."
~Frances Willard

2009-11-26T02:04:00.000-05:00

http://hhx251.internetdsl.tpnet.pl/cwaxeax6OK.html

I Hate...

2005-11-28T15:27:00.000-05:00

So, here it is. Purge your bitches, purge your anger, purge your complaints...and then come back and apologize if you feel like it or come back and say "hell yes I am still pissed about that!" Whatever suits your fancy.

This is your forum...any questions? Email them to me at thepurge@gmail.com.

Put your comments into the comments section of this post.

~The Purgulist

GMail Invites...

2005-11-21T22:07:00.000-05:00

I have one hundred invites, sitting in my inbox...post here with your email address and I'll send you one...if you are one of the few people left who don't actually have GMail by now!

~The Purgulist

Long time no urinate...

2005-11-21T22:00:00.000-05:00

Hello peeps in blogland...it has been a while, but I have a ton of Smoking Gun goodies to hand out for the holiday season...so without further ado, here's your Smoking Post...

It seems that Lenny Kravitz's career is in the crapper, literally....he's getting sued over his shitter...

Speaking of "in the shitter", this Maine man was caught down under...in this park crapper, supposedly looking for his wedding ring...

There's nothing better than angry and irritated airline passengers complaining to the TSA...

These guys got busted for being "pimps in their ride", getting their porn on in full view of other cars...

This middle school principal and teacher get it on at school, smoke pot, snort coke and dance seductively. Only in Ohio...

So you wanna be a Hooters Girl? Only if you can follow the standars set forth in the 52 page handbook....

Ooops...that's an unfortunate typo...

Another boozehound Bush...it must run in the family...

Beat Poet Jack Kerouac's military file...listing dementia, masturbation and other assorted issues...

Granny pops her old man after catching him with another blue-haired bippy...

Christian summer camp not for pussies...

Beware of man in a blue bikini, falsies and carrying a stun gun...

English teacher beds her teen student...where the hell were these teachers when I was in school?

It's the annual Canada Customs Official's List of Admissable Items...always a hot item, much like the Sears Wishbook...the list includes movies of a raunchy nature and whether or not they made the cut as allowable porn or not...it's too bad "Leather Bound Dykes from Hell 19" didn't make the cut...

This Wisconsin man wanted some "unique" closing cost deals from his agent on a home purchase...

Happy Birthday, Motherfucker...man whipped and beaten by strippers, not a fun day unless you're into that shit, you sick fuck!

That's all she wrote, Blog On Brothers!

~The Purgulist

Link purge...

2005-08-04T22:25:00.000-05:00

Bend over...open mouth...and spew links forth...

Suicide bomber killed en route by car bomber (via The Onion)

NAMBLA thinks Harry Potter is gay.

Modified street signs, now with more "fuck" added!

Pet casket sold on eBay for $61 (people really will buy ANYTHING)

Breakfast Club 2? WTF?

Cooter says the new Dukes of Hazzard movie doesn't share the same "family values" the original show did. What, you mean like sharing Daisy Duke with both Bo AND Luke?

Keep on blogging, brother...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Rovinator Roundup...

2005-07-13T22:15:00.000-05:00

So, we learn that Karl Rove was one of two leakers to Matt Cooper. If you're not familiar with the story, than you have been hiding under Scott McClellan's backbone, but if you haven't, watch this piece from Countdown that outlines the key players in KarlGate. Smelling blood, the media have jumped on White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan to provide some answers, which he avoids at all costs, to the point of absurdity...again...and again...skirting the issue and in the process really making the White House look suspicious and sneaky and underhanded. The shitstorm is only just beginning on this bad boy...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Check Reality at the Door...

2005-07-13T22:00:00.000-05:00

There is just too much good drug-induced news to not share. Here's the cream of the crop...the primo stuff...the good shit...

Dude, your dogs are high on weed!

Partake in your favorite hallucinogen and play the disturbing falling mannequin game!

One too many brews for this Steeler fan 'til the end?

Skateboarder Danny Way gets way high as he jumps the Great Wall of China.

Speaking of people who seem to have lost their mind on too much of the good stuff...take a gander at TomCruiseIsNuts.com and get a good chuckle. By the way, the Cruisinator gets lampooned in the blogosphere...can you say, "paging Dr. Cruise"? By the way, Tom...Paris doesn't want you, and I'm not talking the actress. And as if that wasn't enough, Tom hasn't lost his flair for being an asshole in interviews...as seen here last month, when he talked to 60 Minutes.

Speaking Paris the actress and not Paris the town, we take a look at Google's opinion of the actress cum ho-bag cum dumb slut, who asks us if we meant "Paris Hilton IS a ho" when searching for "Paris Hilton isn't a ho"?

That is all, peeps...fire up that spleef and enjoy!

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Milestone...

2005-07-07T09:35:00.000-05:00

Yippee kiyay, motherfuckers...we've hit 1,000 visitors in nine months...toss back a pint and fire up a stogie...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

The Smoking Post...

2005-07-05T20:00:00.000-05:00

Yes, kiddies...it's that time again...there's enough bullets in The Smoking Gun to fire off a few rounds here. So, without further ado...the smoking post...

Author Terry McMillan's latest writing has homophobia, embezzlement, and duplicity in it...and that's just the divorce documents!

It's probably not a good idea to sell pot from a federal courthouse office...

Partying on the town, getting shitfaced, stealing some roses and getting into an argument...before finally being cuffed and tossed in a police cruiser...all on tape...nothing beats the Real World...here's a toast to MTV for promoting family values!

Proving once again that you shouldn't fuck with old people, this Wisconsin granny whacks her neighbors cats with a special dCon kitty buffet. Yikes!

Until the next time, keep your feet on the ground and your head in the clouds...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Fuckstick alert...

2005-07-05T19:46:00.000-05:00

Karl Rove did it, but he won't admit it...and he probably won't get into trouble. Must be nice when you work for the Prez...or is it the other way around?

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Flogging may lead to blindness...

2005-06-24T20:50:00.001-05:00

Oh the sweet irony...

WASHINGTON (AP) A spokesman for the Food and Drug Administration says the regulatory agency is looking into reports of blindness by some users of the impotence drug Viagra.

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Drop it like it's Hot...

2005-06-24T20:50:00.000-05:00

Wondering what to do with all those dead squirrels? Worry no more...now you too can make cash selling squirrel tail (and I don't mean pimpin' it). Free shipping when you send 50 or more tails!

Check out this montage of unecessary censorship from the Jimmy Kimmel Show. (Note: this is so popular the page may not load due to bandwidth demolition)

Want to take your interactive video game experience to the next level? Check out Kick Ass Kung-Fu.

Finally, read all the dirty little details here on the latest Kennedy clan member to get slapped with a harassment suit...settled for six figures.

Peace out, dogs...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

The Smoking Post...

2005-06-16T20:50:00.000-05:00

A cornucopia of choice tidbits from The Smoking Gun...

President Clinton gets crank called by someone who found Parrothead Jimmy Buffet's cell phone.

Keeping your three kids in the car trunk while driving is not smart.

In a bid to crack down on strip clubs and adult video stores, the city fathers of Knoxville, Tennessee allowed a private investigator to use municipal funds to pay for lap dances, beers, and tips to female dancers. Now there's a job!

The Runaway Bride story may be old news, but taking a gander at the police report where she describes her alleged abduction is worth a read.

This crazy old woman wanted her pizza and she wanted it now, dammit!

This chick couldn't get enough from her man, so she grabbed him by the cojones and tried to force the issue. Yikes!

Christian Slater is in the news again...not for anything related to his acting career, but for his groping of a female.

Finally, astronaut Neil Armstrong wants his hair back.

Peace out, dogs...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Yackity Yack...

2005-06-16T20:35:00.000-05:00

Well my bitches and hoes...it has been three long weeks since my last post and I need to purge my belly big time. There's tons to talk about, so let's giddyup!

First off, from venerable ice cream giant Ben & Jerry's comes the pint lock. Yes, worry no more that your wife, kids or college roommates are scarfing your treasure while you're at work. The pint lock padlocks down your ice cream with a five digit combo-lock. Of course, any enterprising pint cracker could get out the hacksaw and take the top off, but that's besides the point.

Now that Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith has been out a while, you can enjoy these stories...Darth Vader is no match for the Hollywood suits when it comes to pitching a movie. And, from the "what the hell were you smoking and can I get some" category comes this story about two teens who tried to make home-made lightsabers and got a trip to the hospital instead!

I'm not into cruel and unusual punishment, but this Florida woman is a DUMBASS. When the cops ask you repeatedly to get out of your car, you do it. You get off the phone and get out of the car. And when a police officer points a tazer at you and says get out of your car, repeatedly, you get the fuck out of your car. I'm sorry, but this woman deserved to get tazered twice.

Finally, a wonderful piece of quality entertainment will soon be gracing Broadway...yes, it's "The Apprentice: The Musical".

Speaking of sarcasm, Israeli scientists are studying the brain to understand why some people get sarcasm and some don't and which parts of the brain are involved. Very interesting stuff. By the way, that last paragraph was sarcasm, in case you missed it.

Keep on blogging, brother...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Celestine Prophecy Movie Update...

2005-05-23T07:50:00.000-05:00

From the Desk of James & Salle Redfield
April 2005

All goes well, as we continue to focus on special effects and music. We have been blessed to have been able to take the extra time on these aspects of the film. And fortunately, this added time has only helped us. The success of Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ, as well as the more psychological films, What the Bleep and Indigo, have set the stage for spiritually-oriented movies as never before. In the near future, The DaVinci Code, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, and Illusions are also set to hit the Silver Screen.

In this climate, our options with the distribution of The Celestine Prophecy Movie have broadened without compromising the movie's deeper spiritual theme. Every studio and distribution company knows that the habits of baby-boomers have moved toward the personal comfort of Home Video, and so the back-end video sales have become a large part of their business. Suddenly we are not locked into just a theatrical release with a long wait for the ease of video, but can possibly arrange some combination of theaters, internet, and immediate release video (with a deeper commentary by me). Such fun.

Apparently, the sky is the limit these days with movies, so stay tuned and we'll let you know how things develop.

One thing is for sure. The need in this world for spiritual messages has never been greater. And I'm not just talking about a desire for peace, the hope for a greater honestly and decency, and a lessening of poverty and under-education in the world. As profound as these time-honored spiritual messages are, most important are the spiritual discoveries we make at the personal level that can change the world from within.

What am I talking about? I'm talking about a deeper experience of our connection with God, the source of everything. Something wondrous occurs when we realize this is not just an intellectual idea, this is a real experience. It can be cultivated. I'm talking about the fruits of this connection: an increased sense of intuitive guidance, magical synchronicities, and the personal discovery of a destined work or contribution to the world, just waiting to unfold, if we trust. These experiences will be commonplace in the lives of people in the future. Hopefully, seeing a quick, adventurous snapshot of this vision in The Celestine Prophecy Movie will help bring it all to life.

Stale blog...fresh post...

2005-05-12T22:47:00.000-05:00

Yo, yo, yo bitches and hoes. This here blog be gettin' stale and shit. So, it's time to update and post some shizzel that's being gathering dust in my inbox. Henceforth and hitherto...fresh meat...

Are clever birds behind the infamous exploding toads of Hamburg, Germany?

Sadly, one of my favorite blogs is gone. Pat O'Brien checked out of rehab and the writer of the I'm Stuck in Rehab With Pat O'Brien blog checked out too. Fortunately, he has a "real" blog over at Utter Wonder. Check it out. You also might want to check out the new blog I have taken to reading in place of this gem- The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster. Who knew Darth Vader was such a sensitive guy when not crushing tracheas?

The new Batman movie returns to it's dark roots...and it looks totally awesome! Gone are the silly days of Tim Burton and fucking dumbass codpieces. I can't wait!

I can't push the Firefox browser enough on this blog. Click on the link to the right and download it if you don't already have it and see for yourself why it's so effin' sweet. I use it at home and love it. Meanwhile, I am forced to use IE at work because our IT guy likes to stay with mainstream, established Microsoft products. Bleck!! Sometimes I wish he would take a look at websites like this one- StopIE. No further explanation needed.

If you want to shit your pants completely...check out Bootleg Browser. They have a ton of links to live concert footage of tons and tons of bands...everyone from Aerosmith to Metallica and the Who. I can't believe it's free!

The city of Duluth, Georgia and its police force were deluged by letters from people over how to deal with the "runaway bride". From the Smoking Gun, the top letters make the web.

And finally...

Top 5 Changes the Republican Chairman of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting Wants at PBS(Novak)

Special Sesame Street episode where Bert moves out and Ernie gets a girlfriend
"Antique Roadshow" to feature NASCAR trading cards at least 3 times a week
More "Frontline" documentaries about Ted Kennedy's ever-widening ass
"Postcards from Buster" replaced by new animated series: "Jesus n' Pals"
Provide special translators so President Bush can understand what they're saying on all those British programs

Peace out, keep on bloggin' brother...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Link Golf...the Bottom Nine...

2005-04-23T13:30:00.000-05:00

From the "too much time on their hands" department comes these two nuggets of joy...all the good stuff taken out of two songs by rap group N.W.A. and only the explicit content left in. Listen to the MP3 for Straight Outta Compton and Fuck the Police.

So we've got a new pope. He freaks me out. He reminds me of somebody...hmmmm....could it be this guy? Speaking of the new pope...somebody registered the domain name http://www.modestneeds.org/benedictxvi/ and is having quite the conversation in his comments section. You catholics are sure quick to tell someone they are going to Hell. Lighten up, will ya? **UPDATE** The guy who registered the site has redirected it to a non-profit organization until he can transfer it to the Vatican. Too bad. The comments section of the original page was priceless. I also think that it's probably a load of horseshit that Roger's trying to contact the Vatican, but we'll see!

So, we now go from popes to Jesus. From our "what were they thinking" department comes this Red Sox Last Supper Painting featuring Johnny Damon as Jesus and a host of Red Sox players as his disciples. The thing I'm wondering is, does Pedro play the role of Judas in the painting?

If you want to see some really funny shit, check out this video of a kid juggling three pins while playing a high speed game of Dance Dance Revolution.

This is classic prank material...this guy pranks the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority...and does it with style! As someone who drives through tolls twice a day, I can appreciate the humor.

From the "wtf were you thinking" department comes this page from the watchdog group the Parents Television Council that lists video clip highlights of examples of the worst stuff on television. The funny thing is that it's one stop shopping for people who WANT to see explicit material.

And finally from our "off the meds" department comes this story about a guy calling and leaving a voice mail (NSFW) with the producers of a documentary on crop circles. This guy starts out calm enough, but quickly loses it and by the end I'm not suprised if he smashed the phone into the wall when he hung up.

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

McBitches and Hoes...

2005-04-20T13:22:00.000-05:00

Could this be the first new rap song to take McDonald's marketing peeps up on their offer to get paid to say Big Mac in their song? (Warning: NSFW lyrics)

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Sausage posting...now with more links...

2005-04-08T20:10:00.000-05:00

Alright, kiddies! It's time to drop some funky, fun and fresh things I've seen around the web...

So, this guy is looking for a roommate...and he has a few requirements. Don't worry, though...he has a handbook that he gives to people who make it to the final round of interviews.

Those crazy Japanese...making Battletech robots for real...

They're finally putting C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia into movie form. They are almost done with production on The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. How cool is that?

Norway is looking for some Vikings...friendly ones, of course...bloodthirsty pillagers need not apply. How's that for a PR campaign?

And then you got this delivery guy...stuck in an elevator for three days...they found him dehydrated...I guess he drank the soy sauce??

Don't have GMail yet? Try Gansta Mail, pimp. It's the shizzel on my nizzel, fizzel whizzle! It ain't nuthin' but a G-thang. By the way...I have 50 GMail invites that I can't seem to get rid of if anyone actually exists who doesn't have an account at this point. Send an email to me and I'll set you up, bitch...

And finally...on a totally unrelated note about sports....the L.A. Lakers are officially out of playoff contention (registration required). Meanwhile, Shaq's Miami Heat are number one in the East with a bullet and looking to take it all. Can we draw a connection here, folks? Thanks Kobe...I actually like Shaq now that he's no longer a Laker. The ultimate icing on the cake would be for Phil Jackson to come back to coaching, but go to the Cavaliers and coach Lebron James...who could pass for a young Michael Jordon...just like a young Phil Jackson coached in Chicago so many moons ago.

That's all the news that's fit to print...peace out, dogs...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Bloglines best picks...

2005-04-08T19:45:00.000-05:00

I have an extensive bloglines list and thought I would share some of the more entertaining websites I subscribe to. I have the usual suspects on my list (like BoingBoing, MetaFilter and Slashdot), but these are my top five, out of the way, less travelled links worth taking a look at...

1. I'm Stuck in Rehab With Pat O'Brien

This is the funniest godamn thing I have read in a while. I'm totally pimpin' this website because it's nice to see fresh and funny writing on an almost daily basis.

2. horkulated

A wide variety of funny posts on a daily basis. Worth checking out, especially for the political humor.

3. Anonymous Lawyer

Although he rarely posts anymore, his blog is a great read and makes the legal world very interesting (although I wouldn't want to work in it- especially after hearing what he thinks about his employees!). Being anonymous allows a very candid conversation about the ins and outs of lawyers and law firms and what it takes to get a leg up in a partnership or firm.

4. Bloglines Top Links

This is my dirty little secret. I check this on a daily basis to see what the top 25 most linked to things are on Bloglines, whether they are websites, news articles or specific blog posts. It lets me see what the hot memes are and make sure I don't miss any big stories.

5. Cruel Site of the Day

Sick and twisted shit sometimes, but always funny as hell. I'm still trying to get to the "do the Schiavo" website, but it's always offline!

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the next since 2004)

Naval gazing...

2005-04-07T11:55:00.000-05:00

For a site that I rarely have time to update, it's nice to see that I've had over 550 visitors in the last six months. In light of hitting this number, I thought I would share some interesting facts about this blog.

The percentage of Firefox users coming to my site is up to 16%. If you're not yet a user, click on the Firefox link to the right and rediscover the web (and I get a referral from the folks at Spread Firefox!). I have been using it since it first became available and I love it. I have had zero security issues, zero pop-ups, and love the flexibility that comes with being able to modify the browser with themes and extensions that I choose, tabbed browsing, easy search engine use (I have several in a pop down menu, including the imdb, Amazon and eBay). I love the fact that security flaws get fixed very quickly, as opposed to the sleeping giant that is IE. I could go on and on, but you should just do a Google search for Firefox and see what other people think.

On another note, I have had visitors from France, Belgium, Singapore, the United Kingdom, and Canada, as well as visitors from the military.

My two biggest surges in traffic recently came from two posts. My post on the forklift safety video brought me a ton of visitors from an online German War Roleplaying group. And, since the pope died, several people have come to my post on grieving the election...because they searched for the steps of grieving.

Thanks for all the traffic and keep on blogging, brother!

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

The Smoking Post...

2005-04-01T22:47:00.000-05:00

Fun and not so fun tidbits from The Smoking Gun...

Red Lake shooter Jeff Weise made this animated short before the shooting spree. Did this not set off alarm bells for people???

Florida teacher takes page from Porkys...checks out women in locker room through ceiling...gets caught. Girls were like eleven and thirteen...sick fuck.

A Wisconsin man was charged with indecent exposure after disrobing and fondling himself at two area laundromats. Coincidentally, one of the laundromats was called "Willy Wash"...perhaps he was taking them literally?

That's all the news that's fit to blog...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Fire up the reefer, man...

2005-04-01T22:40:00.000-05:00

Because this is some good shit...

I'm stuck in rehab with Pat O'Brien...very, very funny shit and great writing...refreshing to see on a blogspot blog...

Speaking of fucked up people...did you know there is life after the Wheel for Pat Sajak?

Here's an interesting MetaFilter post on all the things that have been done with H.P. Lovecraft's works. Is that the phone ringing? I think it's Cthulu for you...the call of Cthulu...*rim shot*

The best April Fools joke I saw all day was this parody site of BoingBoing....BoringBoring. Very funny and smartly done. I truly hope that the cease and desist letter sent to the site by Cory Doctorow is a joke as well....if not, that would be truly unfunny. The folks over at BoringBoring are having a good time with the letter, though...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Die, Klause, Die!!

2005-03-16T23:22:00.000-05:00

Today's entry comes to us from the OMG, WTF??? category...forklift safety video...(don't mind that the video is in German...you'll get the idea real quick)...watch for the exciting conclusion at the end!

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

The Smoking Post...

2005-03-11T14:00:00.000-05:00

Bill O'Reilly calls The Smoking Gun sleazy...he should know!

Jacko gave kiddies Jesus Juice...

Woman administers lethal wine enema...

Dope dealing grannie...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Benji the Hunted...

2005-03-11T13:56:00.000-05:00

Need a Dr. Demento fix? Check here...

Mmmmmkay?

2005-03-11T13:55:00.000-05:00

These brownies are the fojizzle...

May Cause Swelling...

2005-03-11T13:45:00.000-05:00

From the OMG, WTF department comes this...big balls...

Tightening your bible belt...

2005-03-04T19:30:00.000-05:00

The newest diet fad...WWJE?

Retard Wrestling...

2005-03-04T19:29:00.000-05:00

I know...totally tasteless...totally inappropriate....and totally fuckin' hilarious...

http://masamania.com/archives/2005/01/handicapped_pro.html

Funny ass billboards...

2005-03-04T19:28:00.000-05:00

Got a few hours?

http://www.dribbleglass.com/subpages/billboards88a.htm

Ash rocks on...

2005-03-04T19:26:00.000-05:00

Bruce Campbell's Top Ten Horror Movies...

Color commentary on crash...

2005-03-04T19:24:00.000-05:00

Read the narrative first, the open the wave file . . . it's hilarious.

On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works
at Jack in the Box some funny stories or experiences with the company.

The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for
a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he
was leaving a voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on
to provide "play by play" of the incident.

http://www.thenerdgroup.com/funnyvoicemail.wav

Crime spree...

2005-03-04T19:21:00.000-05:00

These students are travelling around the country breaking every stupid rule on the books, like taking a nap in a cheese factory in South Dakota. Trust me...it's illegal.

About to get medieval on your ass...

2005-03-04T19:19:00.000-05:00

Bad motherfucker wallets...need I say more?

File under WTF....

2005-02-24T21:17:00.000-05:00

This falls into the category of job listings that you couldn't dream up on crack cocaine...this is a REAL job listing...now if I could only get paid $100,000 to be an expert on American Idol...

Vice President, CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute
CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute
Nationwide
Vice President, CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute* Get paid $100,000 for one year to watch television! Job responsibilities include: -- watch The Dukes of Hazzard weeknight on CMT -- know the words to The Dukes of Hazzard theme song, Good Ol' Boys -- write The Dukes of Hazzard Institute online blog for cmt.com -- serve as expert on all things The Dukes of Hazzard -- maybe take The General Lee for a spin now and then For a Job Application, please visit: CMTDukesInstitute.com *The position requires the execution of a one-year, $100,000 Independent Contractor agreement with GREAT! Get paid $100,000 to watch THE DUKES OF HAZZARD on CMT and become the CMT DUKES OF HAZZARD INSTITUTE authority on all things THE DUKES OF HAZZARD. The job responsibilities for the Vice President, THE DUKES OF HAZZARD INSTITUTE are: -- watch THE DUKES OF HAZZARD every weeknight on CMT -- know the words to THE DUKES OF HAZZARD theme song, Good Ol' Boys, written and performed on the series by the legendary Waylon Jennings -- serve as media expert on THE DUKES OF HAZZARD for the CMT DUKES OF HAZZARD INSTITUTE: must be available for TV, radio and newspaper interviews to share his or her expertise and passion for THE DUKES OF HAZZARD on CMT -- write THE DUKES OF HAZZARD INSTITUTE online blog for www.CMT.com -- be passionate about THE DUKES OF HAZZARD on CMT -- make appearances at special events such as Dukesfest 2005 in Bristol, TN (June 4-5, 2005) The job requirements include: -- Must be 18 or older and have a valid driver's license -- just in case a spin in the famous '69 Dodge Charger, The General Lee, comes up) -- eligible for work in the United States -- travel occasionally at CMT expense The nationwide search includes recruitment ads in national magazines and newspapers, interviews at job fairs and online job postings at websites such as this one and www.CMTDukesInstitute.com. Burnout is hardly the fate for someone that gets paid a stress-free $100,000 to watch THE DUKES OF HAZZARD on CMT - from the comfort of their home,? says Holeman. Five percent of Americans earn $100,000 or more according to the Employment Policy Foundation. Questions candidates will be asked include: -- If you, Bo, Luke and Daisy took off in The General Lee, what would happen next? -- If Waylon Jennings had written your theme song, what would be the title and chorus? -- Which character on THE DUKES OF HAZZARD do you most identify with and why? CMT anticipates that the new Vice President, CMT DUKES OF HAZZARD INSTITUTE will be announced at the 5th annual Dukesfest at the Bristol Motor Speedway in Bristol, TN to be held Saturday, June 4rd and Sunday, June 5th. Event organizers expect 50,000 DUKES OF HAZZARD fans this year. The Vice President, CMT DUKES OF HAZZARD INSTITUTE job application is available at: www.CMT.com and www.CMTDukesInstitute.com along with information about job requirements, responsibilities and how to apply. The position requires the execution of a one-year, $100,000 Independent Contractor agreement with GREAT Concept development and execution of the Vice President, CMT DUKES OF HAZZARD INSTITUTE $100,000/Year Dream Job Search handled by GREAT!, the Atlanta-based promotion agency of record for CMT. CMT, America's No.1 country music network, carries original programming, specials, and live concerts and events, as well as a mix of videos by established country music artists and new cutting-edge acts, including world premiere exclusive videos. Founded March 6, 1983, CMT, owned and operated by MTV Networks, reaches more than 77.1 million households in the United States. Go to country music?s biggest web site at www.CMT.com. *The position requires the execution of a one-year, $100,000 Independent Contractor agreement with GREAT!

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

The Blogs Must Be Crazy...

2005-02-17T15:00:00.000-05:00

Excellent Peggy Noonan article on the state of the blogosphere.

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Gangster mail...

2005-02-13T21:48:00.000-05:00

I have fifty GMail invites for anyone who wants one. I can't seem to get rid of them quick enough before I get another shitload of 'em. Email me at thepurge@gmail.com and I'll send you one...all wrapped up nice and pretty...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Video game friskiness...

2005-02-13T21:43:00.000-05:00

Mario shacks up with the Princess for nooky time...(NSFW)...

http://uploads.ungrounded.net/196000/196510_Son_of_a_Peach_.swf

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Ghetto Google, pimp...

2005-02-13T21:41:00.000-05:00

For all your sizearching needs...gizoogle to find shiznit!

http://www.gizoogle.com/

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Get the 4-1-1- on Farts...

2005-02-01T09:58:00.000-05:00

This has got to be one of the funniest things I have ever read and it
just gets funnier the further down the page you go. This is the
definitive FAQ on farts, flatulence and gas in general, covering
everything from what happens to the farts you hold in and then they go
away to would you be able to see a fart like you see your breath when
in cold weather. Wicked funny...

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

New Year's Resolutions...

2004-12-29T23:15:00.000-05:00

I've had some time to think about my resolutions for next year and I've done some thinking about this blog. I rarelly have time to post on it and there is just waaaay too much shit to keep track of when it comes to Presidential bullshit. I had 35 news stories ready to go for this edition and that is just one week's worth of stories. I just can't waste my life blogging about our Dickhead President. I can, however, blog about funny shit and weird shit I see that has a better shelf life if it doesn't get posted right away. Having said that....here's a bunch of weird/funny/cool/bizarre shit for your viewing pleasure...

Here is Bernard Kerik's withdrawal letter from the position of Homeland Security dude (really, it's the real thing, I swear!).

If you enjoy life in the cube farm at work, you'll love these cube toys that you can take home and play work at home with! I can't imagine anything more fun that that!

So these freaky cult people buried their leader in an underground tomb, thinking he would come back from the dead (because they believe in the resurrection)...turns out he died from starvation. Oops!

There's nothing I love more than getting my morning paper and finding a bible strapped in it. Yep, and I really love it when the newspaper company got paid by the bible thumpers to put their New Testament in my friggin paper!!!!!

Here's a touching story about how the weed guy saved Christmas.

Have you seen the new Phantom of the Opera movie? If so you could be suffering from Post Melodramatic-Stress Disorder. Of course, people who saw Titanic may be repeat sufferers.

Seinfeld viewers will be happy to know that Festivus lives on.

For those who appreciate punctuation humor, here's the pitch for the sarcasm point and a short history of the interrobang, for when you need something more than just an exclamation point!

Soooo.....I can't totally not talk about politics. This post is freakin' hilarious. It makes fun of the people who made fun of the website about being sorry...you know, the whole "we're sorry" and then someone came up with a website that said "we're not sorry" and then someone came up with another website that said "we're sorry about the people who weren't sorry in the first place, but are sorry now"? Anyways, this post riffs on the idiots who posted to the short lived "we're not sorry" website. Very, very biting humor and very, very funny.

Apparently, prisoners have better video games than I do, at least in Missouri.

That's all, folks...enjoy the new year and be happy in the knowledge that George Bush absolutely cannot run again in 2008...it's the law!

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Bush Lite...same great President, with half the brains...

2004-12-15T21:00:00.000-05:00

Ahhhh....I love this part. Charting the bone-headed stunts of our lame duck President gives me great joy in this holiday season, so fire up the eggnog, pull up a chair by the fireplace and listen as Uncle Purgulist tells you a Christmas tale about the fat man in the oval office...

Purge Bin: Cabinet Cleaning and Headrolling

Kerik is out. Apparently he forgot that he had an illegal immigrant maid and didn't pay taxes on her...and also forgot that he had an extramarital affair with two women, went bankrupt, had business ties with the mob...the list goes on and on, but the White House blames Kerik for not disclosing these things. Apparently, they knew about some of these things, but they never considered them to be deal breakers. Is it any wonder that Giuiliani's relationship with President Bush is now strained? The G man personally vouched for Kerik. No new name has been put forward yet. Perhaps Bush is feeling a little embarrassed for his hubris? Mandate my ass. Looks like you're spending that political capital on gum and plastic trinkets. Meanwhile, another surprise nomination...EPA Head Mike Leavitt is the nominee for Health and Human Services, the position held formerly by Tommy Thompson, who resigned.

Purge Bin: General Politics

The Dems are searching for a new DNC chair. They also plan on forming an oversight committee to keep an eye on those tricky GOPartyers in Washington. Meanwhile, Conservative Christians are pushing their agenda gung-ho! Ohio's vote tally is being challenged and some new and interesting things are surfacing about the funky results in O-hi-o!

Purge Bin: Bush is an Idiot

Doctors pronounced Bush fit and a little fat after passing his routine physical. Great. Now he's got the okay from his doctor to continue fucking up our country. Oh yeah...and Bush and God are like "this". How the hell else do you think he won the election? Meanwhile, the Prez will probably lose some allies over his fiscal policies. Are we surprised? No, it's his way or the highway. Oh yeah, and where the fuck is Bin Laden?

Much like I compared losing the election to depression, somebody else has compared the election aftermath to that of someone who is in an abusive relationship...us Blue Staters being abused by those bastard Red State Republicans who love to instill fear into the hearts of men. There is hope, though....it's time to stop being hit.

Blog on, brother...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Frothy adult beverage...

2004-12-15T20:30:00.000-05:00

Mmmm....you ever get that satisfied feeling from having eaten something that filled you up just right? Well, I don't. I ended up eating too much news again and although I didn't spew this time, I did burp up a little chunky stuff...

Purge Bin: Sports

New England Patriots offensive coordinator Charlie Weis has agreed to become football coach at Notre Dame. Nobody was surprised, but it still sucks.

The Red Sox have signed lefty pitcher David Wells. Wells was the guy who said he wanted to be the one pushing the button to detonate Fenway. Welcome to Boston. Pedro Martinez went to the Mets. I say good riddance. He was a clubhouse diva and his shoulder wasn't doing him any favors. He was damaged goods and wasn't pitching that great. I was amazed we got seven innings out of him in the playoffs. Remember last year against the Yankees? Anyone? Ace pitcher Curt Schilling will most likely NOT start the season due to extended healing time for his surgery. At least we signed Renteria with the money we saved on Pedro.

With even more nasty comments from Kobe Bryant, Karl Malone is said to be pursuing the Spurs. After Kobe's first crack and now this new one about Malone hitting on his wife...I'd be pissed, too. Speaking of Kobe's mouth getting him in trouble...he had a little verbal sparring match with Ray Allen from the Sonics over a comment by Allen that I thought was dead-on. Allen said Kobe was too selfish and when things didn't work out with the Lakers he would be asking to be traded in a year. At any rate, the Lakers played the Sonics last night and the showdown was less than spectacular. At least the Lakers lost and Ray Allen made Bryant his bitch. In Beantown, the Celtics beat the Clippers in double overtime to make a two game winning streak. They are playing the Nuggets tonight...let's see if they can make it three in a row to salvage something from this last set of games.

Purge Bin: Just Plain Weird Shit

Watch time-lapse video of a woodlands frog slowly unfreezing. Apparently it has the ability to be frozen solid during the winter and then thaw out again and still live. Very freaky shit.

We need more blank pages. And we need someone to make sure that we have enough blank pages, because somebody has waaaaay too much time on their hands.

Meet Arnocorps, the greatest band of all time. The metal music leaves something to be desired, but the website is hilarious. Spending a few minutes reading through all the band history and press releases is well worth it. This band makes songs out of Arnold Schwarzenegger movie lines and dresses in combat fatigues. Very funny. Very disturbing.

Check out the name that song game. Very cool. You can input any band name you want and play a specialized version. Ultra hip website, but don't be surprised if you get booted off the page...their servers are having a hell of a time dealing with all the attention.

Finally, check out this website of motorbike riders who are offering free 1TB email accounts with the ability to attach 500 MB. Sounds too good to be true. I didn't sign up because I already have several GMail accounts and don't need another freaking email account to deal with. Sounds legit...I dunno!

Look for the next post on politics and Bush-bashing galore, like you've come to expect from the Purgulist!

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Praise Jesus and Pass the Butter...

2004-12-11T22:45:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I'm not "religious", but I am spiritual. You will never catch me saying the above, but you might hear me utter an emphatic J.C.! But I digress, this post is about politics and religion and the ever shifting cabinet of George W. Dickhead.

Purge Bin: General Politics

CBS supports President Bush by refusing to air a religious ad.

Speaking of moral values, our leaders in the military seem to think it's okay to torture Iraqis if they are immoral people. Nice way of thinking...so glad to see President Bush's faith making it's way down the chain of command in the military.

This reminds me of a quote I recently heard: "Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction." (Blaise Pascal- French mathematician, physicist-1623 - 1662)

Here's an interesting Atlantic Monthly article from October on President Bush's "Lost Year".

President Bush's second term is already tough. Boo hoo! Haven't you heard about all the fun that Presidents typically have in their second terms? You know, like the fact that they are usually scandal ridden, that impeachments happen, and that it's generally not a cake walk, unless the cake is Aunt Martha's six month old Fruitcake, which could stand in for a doorstop.

It appears the vote tally in Ohio was a hell of a lot closer than was originally thought...not enough to sway the state over the side of good, but enough to warm my heart to the fact that not as many people are complete idiots as I had originally thought.

The Democrats will be fighting like hell in the Senate this time around, so look out Bushie Baby!

Oh yeah, and Bin Laden is nowhere to be found. Isn't that comforting? We had him cornered at one point and even had him sick and possibly injured, but we couldn't get the job done.

Okay, here comes the really fun part. You're going to have to pay attention closely as it gets a little confusing...

Purge Bin: Headrolling and Cabinet Cleaning

President Bush nominated Nebraska Gov. Mike Johanns (R) to be his new Agriculture Secretary.

Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge resigns. Bush nominates Bernard Kerik. Kerik had money problems and filed for bankruptcy in the 80s. People in the Homeland Security office are scared shitless. But then this Friday, the White House says former New York Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik has withdrawn his nomination as homeland security secretary. Go figure.

A senior administration official says President Bush has asked Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld to remain in his job and Rumsfeld has agreed to stay (despite Ridge and Ashcroft being gone!).

Health and Human Services secretary Tommy Thompson has resigned, official says.

John Danforth, U.S. Secretary to the United Nations quits.

President Bush has chosen Treasury deputy secretary Sam Bodman as Energy secretary.

A senior Bush administration official has said that Veterans Affairs Secretary Anthony Principi is resigning. President Bush has chosen Ambassador Jim Nicholson as new secretary of the Department of Veterans Affairs.

Despite rumors to the contrary, President Bush has asked Treasury Secretary John Snow to stay in the administration, and Snow has agreed.

President Bush has asked the secretaries of the Transportation, Labor, Interior and Housing departments to remain in the Cabinet and they have all agreed, completing the decisions on his second term top-level team.

President Bush has replaced the head of the Civil Rights Panel and could overhaul the whole panel as well.

Yikes...got all that straight? Oh yeah, right wing conservative commentators like the ever tactful Ann Coulter are disrespecting Canada. I say we beat some ass, don't you? I'm not sure how Canada fits into this political post, but what the hell...

Let me know when your head shrinks enough to fit more news and views in...until then, keep on blogging, brother!

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

McVomitville...

2004-12-11T22:00:00.000-05:00

Hey kiddies...I've been binging on news again (39 email items in my inbox) and it's time to purge once more...I think this time I'll puke it out in segments instead of one big, long, steaming explosion of yuke...so, let's start with some fun shit...

Purge Bin: Cool, Bizarre and Just Plain Funny

Remember the guy from Deliverance who wanted Ned Beatty to squeal like a pig? Well, not only does he have his own website, but now you too can buy his love songs album! There's something about this that is just soooooo wrong.

According to The Daily Kos, liberal bloggers like myself are suffering a shortage of snark. What is snark, you ask? Well, if you don't know.....you probably won't find THIS funny.

Microsoft has jumped into the Blog arena, but is having a hell of a reception from bloggers due to their restrictions on content and the like.

Blog and you could lose your job...just like Troutgirl did at Friendster. Whatever happened to her? Jeremy Zawadny was all over the story and people were cancelling their Friendster accounts left and right, but I haven't heard boo since.

Speaking of bloggers in trouble...Jason Kottke is getting dinged by the man...Sony to be precise...and it's all over his Ken Jennings news. What a load of crap. Bloggers seemed to jump on the help wagon for this one too, but I haven't heard boo in a week.

Speaking of Ken Jennings...he's now the official spokesperson for Encarta and will be touring the country trying to get stumped by people who think of him as a human encyclopedia.

Do you find yourself quoting Seinfeld all the time? Do you get the Jimmy legs? Do you refer to people as "close talkers"? Well, now you have all the reference material you need with The Seinfeld Dictionary. Warning- Use at your risk! Before you know it, the week could be over and you could be lying in a pool of your own drool at the computer wishing for some of that Gespacho from the Soup Nazi.

Do you find your friends always quoting from movies and never knowing what the movie was? Or did you have a burning desire to know what the American Film Institute thought the best 400 movie quotes of all time were? Yes, now you too can find out by checking The List. Warning- this PDF document is 103 pages long, so you probably don't want to print it out!

So, dude, I was wondering if you ever wondered about the scholarly pursuit of the word dude, dude? Dude, this is totally awesome. Check out this brain dump on the word "dude".

Okay, so speaking of old shrivs...alright, so I wasn't speaking about old people, but I do have blue hair news...well, not that bad....Harrison Ford has still got some spunk in him...they are finally doing Indiana Jones 4 and it will star the man himself.

In other Ford news, there are no end to the troubles behind Ridley Scott and crew trying to get the Blade Runner Special Edition set out. The BR: SE is a two disk set containing the original theatrical release (director's cut), the changed version that has the voice over and different ending (and which is NOT available anywhere godammit! You can only get the DC and I hate the DC!!), and a new version which is the most complete Director's Cut (and which is not available anywhere). The new DC has extra footage and is basically Scott's true vision for the film, which he never had time to complete. But, legal woes are keeping this baby in limbo.

And then, of course, you have your films that should not be made...like this filmified version of the Dukes of Hazzard television show. The new version has Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke and also stars Burt Reynelds, the dude from Jackass, and some other unlikelies. Don't get me wrong...I religiously watched the original with Wopat and Schneider and loved that show, but the casting choices for the movie seem to already doom it to schlock.

Purge Bin: Sports

Fans banned from Pistons arena for life. It's about damn time!

And also about damn time is the charges being filed against fans and players for their roles in the madness in the Motor City.

And, after Kobe Bryant made a shitty comment on sports radio, Karl Malone is hurt and considering the Miami Heat where he would join his old comrade, Shaq. I didn't know the punk had feelings!

Whew!! Okay, so the next post will be all politics, all the time...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

The Has-Been Hotline...

2004-12-02T13:44:00.000-05:00

This is just too good to pass up. For just $19.95 you too can get a live phone call from a celebrity! Of course the celebrity list reads like a laundry list of washed up actors and celebrities, everyone from Lorenzo Lamas and Kato Kaelin to the guys who played Horshack in Welcome Back, Kotter and Willis in Good Times. I'm surprised that Erik Estrada isn't on the list, although I have seen him shilling tropical homes on late night television. Go figure!

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

QT on the QT...

2004-12-01T21:02:00.000-05:00

So it turns out the supposed blog run by Quentin Tarantino was fake after all. I never really read it that closely, but thought it was an interesting read. I can't imagine spending all that time and effort to pull off a hoax (well, if you don't count the 2004 election). At one point, QT supposedly plugged another website...an online diary of George Bush. Turns out that it's the blog run by the guy who faked the QT blog. Furthermore, it stinks! I read it for a week and the guy is just not funny. I appreciate that he's a Republican and makes fun of his President, but his humor is just way off. Anyways, here's the last post to QT's Diary (which of course is now deleted and offline). I copied it when I saw it because I knew it would be gone by the next day.

"Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself"...
By Quentin Tarantino

Howdy, Well, you guessed it - FAKE! I know, I know. Sorry everyone who's pissed off that I did this, but hey let's admit it: it was pretty fun. The reason I'm closing the blog is simple: I've gone too far. First, I'd like to apologize to fans who I've disappointed and lied to - I stopped responding to e-mails about a week ago (maybe longer) because I realized it was wrong. At first I enjoyed doing it because I felt like I was giving hope to the poor souls out there who try and try to contact celebrities and always fail. But then I realized that I'm misleading them - it's almost as bad as the idiots who sell fake autographs on Ebay. I know, because I purchased one once and realized after it arrived that it was fake. That pissed me off, and I'm sure I've pissed off a lot of QT's die-hard fans and I'm really sorry about that. Second, using Extreme Interactive was simply wrong. I'd like to make it very clear that I feel bad about doing it and would like to apologize to Jamie Davison and everyone else who spent lots of time designing the Flash presentation. If they're reading this (which I'm sure they will be), I would like to publicly apologize. They contacted me a while ago in response to my Official Website post, and I told them to go ahead and design a site for me. I didn't really think they'd do so much. I had planned on telling Mr. Davison the truth, but got too carried away in my persona - I didn't want to ruin it. When I was given a preview of the blog, I was shocked and didn't know what else to do so I kept up the act as "Stacy," Quentin's publicist. As a measure of good faith, I'm going to plug the website now: if anyone is in search of flash websites, use ExtremeInteractive.com, because they're excellent. Jamie Davison is very nice and personally handled everything I contacted him about. (But for future reference, any time someone contacts you via e-mail claiming to be a celebrity, ask for some ID.) One very important note: I'd like to make it clear that I had the blessing of Quentin Tarantino - or, at least, his publicist, whose name I won't mention because I was asked not to a while back - to post here using his name. At first I didn't, but I was contacted shortly after the start of the blog and was told that some people were getting a "kick" out of it, and supposedly someone printed out all my posts for Quentin and he read what I had written and (I suppose) liked it enough that he didn't mind. If I hadn't had a "blessing" of sorts, I would have put a disclaimer at the bottom of the page. (E.g. my George Bush blog. BTW, I'm Republican. Surprising, eh?) I told them that if there was ever any moment when they wanted me to stop with the charade, I'd delete everything. I never posed as Quentin via e-mail (well, only in the beginning) because I didn't really feel like getting angry fans accusing me of identity fraud. As far as I know, there's no Quentin Tarantino secretary named Stacy. So, when dealing with people through e-mail I usually did so as Stacy just because I thought it was wrong enough to be using Tarantino's name on a blog. Well, today I figured it was time to tell the truth and say: IT WAS A FAKE! I thought it was pretty fun, though. I had fun creating it. I hope everyone got a kick out of reading it. At first it was definitely humor, but lately it's become sort of "too realistic" and earlier today at work I was thinking to myself about what I had done (involving Extreme Interactive and contacting fans as Quentin) and realized it wasn't right. I've felt the urge to delete the blog for some time now and only got the guts to do it now.
I'd like to say thanks to Memento for supporting me under the comments section, sorry I wasn't who you thought I was. I didn't respond to your e-mails because I didn't want to lie to you. There were a number of similar people who believed I was who I said I was, and I really feel bad for misleading them. I never wanted it to get carried away this far. So, once again: Sorry to everyone, and hopefully I've at least provided people with some good reading material. I was surprised by how popular the blog became, so quickly. A quick post on IMDb.com advertising it, and word spread everywhere. I was overwhelmed. It was just a personal joke in the beginning; it went too far, and with over 1,000,000 visitors to date, I think it's time to quit and admit once and for all the truth. For the record, Tommy Trialdo was a fabrication. It was just because I was getting bored of the same old stuff and wanted to add a good story to the mix. Contrary to popular belief I was not plugging a screenplay of my own. I've never written a screenplay about Tommy Two Toes. I did write a script with a character named Tommy Two Toes once, long ago, but I only took the name and nothing else because I always thought it sounded very fake and funny. It has nothing to do with the "character" who wrote the blog. The entire story is in no way similar. Stacy, et al are all fake and to answer a final question I've been getting asked a lot: no, the Christian Slater blog is not mine. It could be genuine. All I can say is that it's not me, maybe someone mimicking me or someone having an identity crisis. (Look who's talking, eh.) Sorry everyone, but thanks to the fans who sent kind e-mails - Quentin himself couldn't ask for better fans. Thanks for reading all this time and God bless.

The Weasel, November 27th, 2004
The Final "QT's Diary"Entry

Totally vomitlicious, eh?

2004-12-01T21:00:00.000-05:00

Well my freaky friends, I have been binging on news stories to the point where I can't hold it anymore and have to purge my system. Henceforth...a shitload of stories, organized by purge-bin...

Purge Bin #1: President Bush and Canada

Trade disputes loom large in Bush visit.
Bush arrested in Canada for war crimes (I wish!).
Canadian law organization files torture charges against President Bush (true!).
Bush defends foreign policy while in Canada.

Purge Bin #2: Cabinet Cleaning and Head Rolling

Cabinet shake-up graph (from The Onion).
Top economic advisor to Bush to leave.
Bush to change economic team.
Hearings for Condi Rice nomination in January.
Bush to choose next Fed Chairman.
Bush nominates Kellogs Executive for Commerce Secretary.
Two more CIA officials quit.
New CIA Associate Deputy Director chosen.
Homeland Security Secretary resigns. (with Ashcroft and Ridge out, when will Rumsfeld resign?)

Purge Bin #3: Miscellanious Politics

Kerry team wants to join Ohio recount.
Columbian assassination plan on Bush while in Chile.
Election realignment or tilt?
Beware perils of overreaching GOP is warned.

Purge Bin #4: Humor and Just Plain Bizarre Things

Ahmad Bush holds slim lead in early Iraq election polls.
Meet McRorie, the one man bandstravaganza!
Road rage cards, that perfect holiday gift!
RoboDump is a robot. Sort of. And it poops. Sort of. Forever. A horrible, never-ending bowel movement complete with straining grunts, horrific gas, splashes, and pee sounds.
Cover letter humor for the mentally insane.
Hmong Hunter Charged With 6 Murders Is Said to Be a Shaman.

Martha Stewart's post-Camp Cupcake comeback is gaining momentum. NBC is said to be this close to picking up Mark Burnett's in-the-works reality series starring the imprisoned domestic diva. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the show - set to debut next year following Stewart's prison stay - would have an elimination-style competition element along the lines of Survivor and The Apprentice. Additionally, Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia is in talks with top syndicators to revive Stewart's daily show, which was effectively canceled in May after she was convicted of bitching about her broker's hold music. (TV Guide Online).

Top 5 Reasons President Bush Chose Kellogg's CEO Carlos Gutierrez to be Commerce Secretary (Novak)

5) Knowledge of how to sugar-coat things will come in handy when he makes economic reports. 4) Every time pesky Democrats try to stop tax cuts for the wealthy, he can use brilliant "leggo my Eggo" argument against them.
3) The way this economy is going, everyone will be eating cereal three meals a day pretty soon anyway.
2) Despite making Fruit Loops, Bush was reasonably confident he doesn't support gay marriage. 1) No matter how bad the trade deficit gets, he can arrange for Tony the Tiger to convince Americans that things are grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!

Some things to Do Before President Bush's Inaugural: (9 + 15 missing)

1. Get that abortion you've always wanted.
2. Drink your last clean glass of water.
3. Cash your social security check.
4. See a doctor of your own choosing.
5. Spend quality time with your draft age child/grandchild.
6. Visit Syria, or any foreign country for that matter.
7. Get that gas mask you've been putting off buying.
8. Hoard gasoline.
10. Borrow books from library before they're banned - Constitutional law books, Catcher in the Rye, Harry Potter, Tropic of Cancer, etc.
11. If you have an idea for an art piece involving a crucifix - do it now.
12. Come out - then go back in - HURRY!
13. Jam in all the Alzheimer's stem cell research you can.
14. Stay out late before the curfews start!
16. Go see Bruce Springsteen before he has his "accident".
17. Go see Mount Rushmore before the Reagan addition.
18. Use the phrase - "you can't do that - this is America".
19. Take a walk in Yosemite, without being hit by a snowmobile or a base-jumper.
20. Enroll your kid in an accelerated art or music class.
21. Start your school day without a prayer.
22. Pass on the secrets of evolution to future generations.
23. Learn French.
24. Attend a commitment ceremony with your gay friends.
25. Take a factory tour anywhere in the US.
26. Try to take photographs of animals on the endangered species list.
27. Visit Florida before the polar ice caps melt.
28. Visit Nevada before it becomes radioactive.
29. Visit Alaska before "The Big Spill".
30. Visit Massachusetts while it is still a State.

Purge Bin #5: Sports

NBA Player Survey- what's the average player like?
NBA Players Union files appeal, but Commish Stern clout is clear.
Basketball arenas upgrade security after the brawl in Detroit.
First brawl lawsuits filed.
The putz who threw the beer has a criminal record.

Whew!! That's it. I feel much better now. I think I'll take a nice moist towelette and wipe the chunks off my shirt. Maybe next time I'll learn to not eat so much news...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Where do you come from?

2004-11-24T14:00:00.000-05:00

From time to time I like to take a look at how people are getting to my site and where they are coming from. Geographically, you are coming from Canada, France, Japan, Germany, the United Kingdom, the Phillipines and the United States. Almost half of you come here on network servers, with about 4% from educational institutions like the University of Florida and Appalachian State University in North Carolina. 67% of you are running Windows XP, followed by 10% on Mac OS. 43% are using Internet Explorer for a browser, followed by 33% on Firefox. Many of you were referred to me by my listing on Blog Explosion. Some were referred here by my post on Horkulated, referring to my Grieving the Election post. Some come this way via the Blogger Navbar. And many of you got to me through a search for anything from "artest" to "cheney is evil", "shizzel" and "nauseau". And, in the 45 days my blog has been in existence, 229 people have visited it, averaging 5 people a day. Not bad for a part time blogger!

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Who are you?

2004-11-24T13:05:00.000-05:00

Some of my favorite blogs to read are done anonymously. They allow the blogger to talk more candidly about things than normal social etiquette would allow. For example, Anonymous Lawyer makes a great read because he talks frankly about the way things "really" are in a big time law firm. He may even get a book deal out of the thing. On the other hand is The Good Husband (who also may get a book deal). While the subject matter is not all hearts and roses, it is heartfelt and provides an honesty about a failing marriage and relationship that we can really connect with, perhaps because we sympathize or because, more importantly, we empathize with what's going on.

Being outside the parameters of socially acceptable "nice talk" allows these bloggers to get at the truth of being human, to expose our innards, and to let other people know that what they think privately may be something they thought themselves but never had the opportunity or the chutzpa to bring up in normal conversation. To these bloggers I say, keep on truckin'. It may not be pretty, but it's truth, pure and simple.

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Motor City Madness...

2004-11-23T15:28:00.000-05:00

So, some crazy shit happened Friday night at the end of the Pacers/Pistons game. Tune your net-dial right here for comprehensive coverage, starting with...NBA Commissioner David Stern handed down some harsh punishments. Of course, Pacers ownership took the opportunity to complain about the sentence. Statements from Ron Artest, Jermaine O'Neil, and Anthony Johnson followed, with Artest also appearing on the Today Show. Despite all the complaining, the Pacers seem ready to move forward in the season. Of course, blame is not being placed totally on the shoulders of the players. The fans are getting in trouble as well, especially the nutjob who threw the initial beer onto Artest. And, sports commentators got a spanking by the league as well for sympathizing with the players who went into the stands and put the smackdown on fans. Here's the results of polling by ESPN on the brawl and the suspensions handed down afterwards. This isn't the first time fans have gone nuts. Here's the top ten NBA brawls and some of the more crazy brawls in sports history. And to top it all off, our home town boys, The Celtics, play the Pacers in Indiana tonight. It will be the Pacers' second game since they lost three of their top players. I just hope nothing funny happens!

If all this violence has upset you, why don't you read this sweet story about dolphins saving a family of swimmers from sharks. Now don't say I never did nuthin' fer ya.

I would be remiss not to mention politics, so I'll leave you with this joke from Jacob Novak: In an effort to reunite the country, President Bush is making a special effort to reach out to all the younger Americans who voted against him and now say they want to leave the country... he's sending them to Iraq.

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Paging Dr. Feelgood...

2004-11-22T20:30:00.000-05:00

So kiddies, let's take a break from politics and talk sports. That's a nice, safe topic, right? Not!! I was watching the Pacers/Pistons game Friday night and saw the whole crazy brawl unfold live before my eyes. Never in all my time as a basketball fan have I seen such a disgrace. The players acted ridiculous and the fans were just abhorrent. Granted, Ron Artest shouldn't have gone into the stands in the first place, but I can feel his pain when someone throws a drink on him when he's laying on the scorer's table. At any rate, the league handed out severe penalties. I'm glad. This kind of behavior should not be tolerated. The players received their suspensions and I hope that the fans directly involved get some sort of penalty as well.

On a lighter note, my boys the Celtics snapped the Sonics' winning streak in sound fashion, spanking them 102-83.

And my other boys, the Patriots play the Chiefs tonight in prime time Monday Night Football. I wonder if there will be any desperate housewives tonight...

In other news, here's a fun new game timed to be released on the 41st anniversary of JFK's assassination...JFK Reloaded. You get to be that scumbag Lee Harvey Oswald and recreate the fateful events of November 22, 1963. I guess there is no end to the sick fucks out there, is there?

And now....the Smoking Post...Fear Factor winner Monica Jackson was nabbed for, well, for drinking until stupid and then grabbing a police officer's crotch and asking him to take her home. Yep, she went to jail...dumbass...

That is all for the time being...peace in the Middle East bitches...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Noooooooooooooooo...............

2004-11-19T14:57:00.000-05:00

So, apparently they are going to remake Evil Dead. This cult classic film from 1981 was Sam Raimi's film school project. It looks like he is involved, although not directing and Bruce Campbell will be involved as well. Unbelievable. I am completely dumbfounded. You can't make magic twice. I don't even know if Campbell will reprise his role as Ash. Sigh, this is just wrong on so many levels.

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

The Wild Bush-man of Borneo...

2004-11-18T15:15:00.000-05:00

In our tossing and turning section today, we check out how the Cabinet is getting cleaned. A senior administration official says President Bush has picked deputy chief of staff Harriet Miers as White House counsel. Bush has nominated Margaret Spellings as the new Education Secretary. She is a long time Bush confidante. Here's Outfoxed Producer Jim Gilliam's take on Karl Rove's offer to Ben Nelson to become the new Ag Secretary.

In other news, Jacques Chirac says the war in Iraq spreads terrorism. I'm not surprised...France has never liked this war...and I have to agree. Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks NBA team blogged that it was stupid of the NBA to have the season opener games on election night. I totally agree- I didn't see any of those games. But, the big bad NBA fined him for his comments anyways. What happened to free speech? Here's a novel idea...let's privatize the election and see what happens when profit is involved. Speaking of torture, here's a website that tells you more than you ever wanted to know about torture devices.

So what is John Kerry up to after the election? Apparently, business as usual.

That's all the news that's fit to blog. We now return you to your regularly scheduled ennui.

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Bushwacking in the USA...

2004-11-16T21:00:00.000-05:00

Turnover and turmoil...Secretary Colin Powell resigns and is replaced by our pal Condi Rice of Chevron Oil fame...Ag Secretary Venemen resigns...Energy Secretary Abraham resigns...Education Secretary Rod Paige resigns and is replaced by domestic policy adviser Margaret Spellings...Bush also named a new GOP chair today...and the shake-up talk continues at the CIA. Here's Outfoxed producer Jim Gilliam's take on the new Bush appointments. And if all this nastiness has got you depressed, how about the new movie about Dubya, starring Don Knotts as Georgie Pinhead!

That is all my netizens...return to your pods!

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

The Daily Head Count...

2004-11-15T15:30:00.000-05:00

They're rolling in Washington....the big, bad axe is chopping heads! Secretary of State Colin Powell, Agriculture Secretary Ann Venneman, Education Secretary Rod Paige and Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham have all submitted their resignations. Word is there will be more heads rolling in the CIA as new Director Porter Goss has apparently been ordered to shake things up at the agency and whack those people who were not supportive of President Dickhead. Michael Sheuer, former head of the CIA's Bin Laden Unit has resigned and Deputy Director of the CIA, John McLaughlin has also resigned. Who's next? Who's jumping off the sinking ship? Condi? Card? Ol' Georgie is greasing up the axe kiddies...watch your necks!

Speaking of buttheads, Vice-President Dick Cheney is said to be fine after suffering shortness of breath. Um, yeah...that makes me real confident.

Here's a quote to make you think about the recent election..."Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear." (Alan Corenk).

And here's the alternate John Kerry concession speech you really wanted to hear, not the make nicey nice speech he actually gave.

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Bush Intel...

2004-11-10T13:45:00.000-05:00

Well, my friends, it's been just over a week since the election and there's doin's at the water cooler.

Democrats in Washington have already vowed to hold Bush accountable.

On the religious front, Liberal Christians are challenging the "moral values" vote.

Not to be outdone, members of President Bush's cabinet are already starting to drop like flies. Attorney General John Ashcroft and Secretary of Commerce Don Evans announced their resignations and today, Bush is expected to announce the appointment of White House counsel Alberto Gonzales to the A.G. position. You may remember Gonzales from his 2002 memo in which Bush claimed the right to waive anti-torture laws and which some say led to Abu Ghraib. He also worked for a law firm that represented scandal-plagued Enron.

And, now we have a major offensive on Fallujah in Iraq, right after Bush won re-election. Could this be any more of a PR move? What I want to know is, where the hell is Bin Laden?

Despite agreeing with many of the points of New England columnist Chris Elliot's latest commentary, I have to say I was very surprised that the Portsmouth Herald published it. Read it to see what I mean.

I welcome all comments and emails on the news, views and opinions presented here. I can be emailed at thepurge@gmail.com.

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Grieving the election...

2004-11-09T19:49:00.000-05:00

It suddenly occurred to me that the feelings I was going through over the results of the election were similar to the feelings I had when I had lost a loved one. I was grieving the election. So, without further ado, here's the five stages of grieving the election:

The Five Stages of Grieving

1. Denial, shock and Isolation:
The first reaction to learning of the loss of the election is to deny the reality of the situation. It is a normal reaction to rationalize overwhelming emotions. It is a defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock. We block out the words and hide from the facts. This is a temporary response that carries us through the first wave of pain. The reality of the loss has not yet been accepted by the bereaved. He or she feels stunned and bewildered as if everything is "unreal."

2. Anger:
As the masking effects of denial and isolation begin to wear, reality and its pain re-emerge. We are not ready. The intense emotion is deflected from our vulnerable core, redirected and expressed instead as anger. The anger may be aimed at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends or family. Anger may be directed at the incumbent President. Rationally, we know Bush is not to be blamed. It's the 51% of voters that put him in office that should be blamed. Emotionally, however, we may resent him for causing us pain. We feel guilty for being angry, and this makes us more angry. The grief stricken person often lashes out at family, friends, themselves, God, the southern tier, Evangelicals or the world in general. Bereaved people will also experience feelings of guilt or fear during this stage.
The Secretary of State in Ohio who called the state for Bush might become a convenient target. Democrats deal with loss and defeat every day. That does not make them immune to the suffering of their constituents or to those who grieve for them.
If you or a family member has great difficulty in accepting your election results and cannot resolve feelings of grief and sorrow, you may want to discuss those feelings with a person who is trained to understand the grieving process. John Kerry certainly understands the loving relationship you have lost and may be able to suggest loss support groups and hot lines, grief counselors, clergymen, social workers, physicians, or psychologists who can be helpful. Talking about your loss will often help.
Do not hesitate to ask Ohio's Secretary of State to explain just once more the details of how Ohio went for Bush. Arrange a special appointment or ask that he telephone you at the end of his day. Ask for clear answers to your questions regarding extra votes and malfunctioning voting machines. Discuss the cost of losing the election. Discuss what the next four years will bring. Understand the options available to you. Take your time. Both you and Ohio's Secretary of State will find that honest and open communication now are an invaluable long-term investment.

3. Bargaining:
The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control. If only we had jumped on the moral bandwagon sooner. If we got more support from Evangelicals. If we changed our candidates's personality, maybe he will do well. In this stage, the bereaved asks for a deal or reward from either God, the Supreme Court or the Clergy. Comments like "I'll go to Church every day, if only John Kerry had won the election" are common. This is a weaker line of defense to protect us from the painful reality.

4. Depression:
Depression occurs as a reaction to the changed way of life created by the loss. The bereaved person feels intensely sad, hopeless, drained and helpless. The possibilities under a new administration are missed and thought about constantly. There are two types of depression associated with mourning. The first one is a reaction to practical implications relating to the loss. Sadness and regret predominate. We worry about the cost of another four years of George Bush. We worry that, in our grief, we have spent less time with others that depend on us. This phase may be eased by simple clarification and reassurance. We may need a bit of helpful cooperation and a few kind words. The second type of depression is more subtle and, in a sense, perhaps more private. It is our quiet preparation to separate and to bid our divided nation farewell. It is best to remember that a simple hug is a powerful thing and sometimes that is all that is needed to ease the moment.

5. Acceptance:
Reaching this stage of mourning is a gift not afforded to everyone. Acceptance comes when the changes brought upon the person by the loss are stabilized into a new lifestyle. The loss of the election may be sudden and unexpected or we may never see beyond our anger or denial. It is not necessarily a mark of bravery to resist the inevitable and to deny ourselves the opportunity to make our peace. This phase is marked by withdrawal and calm. This is not a period of happiness and must be distinguished from depression.

Of course, many, if not most, people will never reach stage 5. But chipper up, by law George Bush can't seek a third term in 2008!

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Check my Shizzel...

2004-11-09T13:52:00.000-05:00

This blog is exactly one month old and it will hit 100 visitors today! Whoohoo!!

Thanks!

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

The Smoking Post...

2004-11-05T20:07:00.000-05:00

On a lighter note, here's a collection of the best stories from The Smoking Gun from the last few weeks...

Even though the lawsuit with Bill O'Reilly is settled, we can still show you the court documents that explain in great detail the charges against Mr. No Spin, including his lufa fantasies and even his Caribbean shower fantasy. Nice to see such upstanding moral behavior from the righteous dude himself...

And speaking of dropped lawsuits, Kobe Bryant's accuser writes a letter to the court clarifying some "mistatements" she made in her police deposition, including lying about why she was late for work that day.

Continuing on the criminal theme, the New York Police Department has a 500 page dossier on the rap community, with sheets on everyone from DMX to Jay-Z to P Diddy.

Wanna know if your favorite athlete is on steroids? Check out the police report from when BALCO got fingered by the fuzz.

Actors gone bad? Bueller!! Mr. Principal from that movie apparently likes little boys. Check out the sexual abuse lawsuit filed.

Conservative windbag and ofttimes Al Franken target Ann Coulter was nailed by creamy custard pies while giving a speech. Long live Al Pieda! Here's the police report.

Musician Lenny Kravitz's neighbor is suing him after he apparently blocked up his toilet and the overflow did "catastrophic damage" to his property. Sounds like some serious shit. Here's the lawsuit filed by the neighbor.

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

The Revolution will be Blogged...

2004-11-05T19:34:00.000-05:00

Rounding up the last few days worth of stories on the election...

Starting with voting problems:

Over 1,100 problems reported nationwide with voting machines.

According to TomPaine.com, Kerry won when you take into consideration spoiled ballots.

The voter supression rap sheet.

In Ohio, a major glitch gives Bush a few thousand extra votes. Here's the Associated Press story:

COLUMBUS, Ohio - A computer error with a voting machine cartridge gave President Bush 3,893 extra votes in a Gahanna precinct. Matthew Damschroder, director of the Franklin County Board of Elections, said Bush received 365 votes there. The other 13 voters who cast ballots either voted for other candidates or did not vote for president. Damschroder said he received some calls Thursday from people who saw the error when reading the list of poll results on the election board's Web site. He said the error would have been discovered when the official canvass for the election is performed later this month. Damschroder said after Precinct 1B closed, a cartridge from one of three voting machines at the polling place generated a faulty number at a computerized reading station. The reader also recorded zero votes in a county commissioner race. Damschroder said the cartridge was retested Thursday and there were no problems. He couldn't explain why the computer reader malfunctioned. Workers checked the cartridge against memory banks in the voting machine Thursday and each showed that 115 people voted for Bush on that machine. With the other machines, the total for Bush in the precinct added up to 365 votes.

Trying to find a silver lining.

And trying to laugh. BoingBoing has clips from The Daily Show on the election results.

Today's thoughts from Michael Moore on the election:

Dear Friends,
Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let's, in the words of Monty Python, “always look on the bright side of life!” There IS some good news from Tuesday's election. Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:

1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.

2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young adults (Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents are always wrong and you should never listen to them.

4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think the country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think the war wasn't worth fighting (51%), and don’t approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out. It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)

5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in the Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack the Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.

6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more show tunes!

7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just any old nut -- a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous nut. May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan.

8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America will no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time! If you're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be truly golden and you will be well cared for in your old age.

9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't have to buy now.

10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress, including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good to have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our candidates can't.

11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up!

12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away.

13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at least 3 chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled state legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into the 2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53 chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control 47 chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1 chamber (Montana House) is still undecided.

14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment than the one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here on out -- and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do all the hard work that will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's last month in 12th grade -- you've already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll treat the next four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at the ranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already proved his point, avenged his father and kicked our ass. "

15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a very dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following two scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to the Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his ear that he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so that history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push for too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky and arrogant -- and thus, reckless -- that he will commit a blunder of such major proportions that even his own party will have to remove him from office.

16. There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200 million of them of voting age. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a landslide -- it means we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58 yards to go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 of those yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and go home crying -- especially when you get to start the next down on the three yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies are coming!!!

17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for the candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the total number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking for a trend it should be this -- that so many Americans were, for the first time since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country has always been filled with evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS news is that so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact, that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the ones who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November 2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element of surprise in 2008. "

Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "My Romanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember, Morton, this is such a wonderful country -- it doesn't even need a president!'" But it needs us. Rest up, I'll write you again tomorrow.

Yours,
Michael Moore

And finally, a lovely op-ed piece from the New York Times.

That's all the news that's fit to blog. Keep on blogging, brother!

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

An open letter to President Bush...

2004-11-04T20:16:00.000-05:00

Dear Mr. Bush,

Consider yourself put on notice. The next four years are going to be the most intensely scrutinized time of your life. You thought the last two years of campaigning and the last few months were bad? Now we have four more years to dig up your past, pick over the last four years worth of mistakes, and keep a very close eye on what you do in office, especially in regards to the campaign promises you made. Of course, I can't place all the blame on you. A majority of the people out there in America voted to keep you in office.

Perhaps we as Democrats and Independents and Republicans didn't do enough to bring people together for a fresh start. Perhaps we didn't envigorate people enough or get them excited enough to get out there and change people's minds about what you stand for.

Mr. President, the rest of the world is slowly turning against us and a good part of that is your bullheaded stubborness and arrogance. Stay the course? Even when you know you are wrong? Like Senator Kerry said, it's one thing to be sure, it's another thing to be sure and be right. You may have convictions, but it's the fact that you lock into something and completely ignore what everyone else tells you, even when what they are saying could change your mind. I remember the intense outpouring of support from around the world when September 11th happened. There was so much goodwill towards us...it was unbelievable. So what did you do? You turned around and got us into a war we didn't need to get into, got us into a war that you were already planning on starting, even before September 11th happened. And now we are stretched thin...no exit plan...no real progress...a death toll of over 1,000 people and counting. And the insurgents in Iraq are even more emboldened now...running rampant and free through the streets killing our people. By the way, they now have a shitload of weapons thanks to the stockpile that you didn't bother to guard- you were too busy guarding the oil. Did you happen to read the international headlines the day after the election? The world is scared of what the next four years will bring and they can't believe that the worst president in our history got re-elected. I read one paper that said they felt bad for us in the 2000 election because you got put into office by hook and crook, despite Americans getting out and voting for the other guy. This time around they have no sympathy for us because you got elected again and this time we voted you in. They are calling us idiots. And I have to agree.

At any rate, don't think this will be a cakewalk. There are a lot of pissed off and dumbfounded people this week who will be keeping a very close eye on everything you do...and I will be one of them.

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

George Bush in Hell...

2004-11-04T20:07:00.000-05:00

While walking down the street one day, George "Dubya" Bush is shot and killed by a disgruntled NRA member. His soul arrives in heaven, and he is met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Welcome to Heaven," says St. Pete. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem: We seldom know what to do with a Republicans in these parts, and the same goes for you. "No problem, just let me in - I'm a believer," says Dubya. St. Pete shakes his head. "I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from the Man himself. He says you have to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where you'll live for eternity." "But, I've already made up my mind," cries Dubya. "I want to be in Heaven." "I'm sorry, but we have our rules," St. Pete says. And with that, Pete escorts Dubya to an elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell.

The doors open, and Dubya finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course - the sun is shining in a cloudless sky, the temperature a perfect 72 degrees. In the distance is a beautiful clubhouse. Standing in front of it is his dad and thousands of other Republicans who had helped him out over the years - people like Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, and Jerry Falwell. Everyone is laughing and casually but expensively dressed. They run to greet Dubya, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at expense of the "suckers and peasants." They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. The Devil himself comes up to Bush with a frosty drink. "Have a Margarita and relax, Dubya!" "Uh, I can't drink no more, I took a pledge," says Junior, dejectedly. The Devil laughs. "This ! is Hell, son: you can drink and eat all you want and not worry, and it just gets better from there!" Dubya takes the drink and finds himself liking the Devil, who he thinks is a really very friendly guy who tells funny jokes and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like a Yale Skull and Bones brother with real horns. They are having such a great time that, before he realizes it, it's time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as Bush steps on the elevator and heads upward.

When the elevator door reopens, Bush is in Heaven again and St. Pete is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit Heaven," the old man says, opening the gate. So for 24 hours, Bush is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good-natured people who enjoy each other's company, talk about things other than money, and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or frat boy joke among them; no fancy country clubs and, while the food tastes great, it's not caviar or lobster. And these people are all middle class, he doesn't see anybody he knows, and he isn't even treated like someone special! Worst of all, to Dubya, Jesus turns out to be some kind of Jewish hippie with his endless "peace" and '"do unto others" jive. "Whoa," Dubya says uncomfortably to himself, "Pat Robertson never prepared me for this!"

The day done, St. Peter returns and says to Dubya, "Well, you've spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for eternity." With the '"Jeopardy" theme playing softly in the background, Dubya reflects for a minute, then answers: "Well, I would never have thought I'd say this -- I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all, but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends." So Pete escorts Dubya to the elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell. The doors of the elevator open, and he is in the middle of a barren scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial waste - kind of like Houston. He is horrified to see all of his friends dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands black with grime. The Devil come over to Dubya and puts an arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," says a shocked Dubya. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a clubhouse and we drank and ate caviar...I drank booze. We screwed around and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage, and everybody looks miserable." The Devil looks at Dubya and smiles slyly. "Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us."

Nauseau ad nauseum...

2004-11-04T14:57:00.000-05:00

**I wrote this yesterday morning at 10am and sent it through the email a post option from my Yahoo and it still hasn't shown up. So, I had to log into blogger and directly post this. If my original post ever shows up, I'll be amazed.**

Gosh, where to start? This has been a year for things being broken. The Red Sox hadn't won the World Series since 1918...they did it this year. The Washington Redskins have called the Presidential election for the last seventeen times in a row by whether they win or lose their last game before the election...they lost their game, but it looks like the incumbent will win the Presidency and break their record streak. And finally, President Bush has broken our backs on the economy, lost jobs, given tax cuts to the wealthy and big companies...President Bush has broken the goodwill of the rest of the world, taking the incredible outpouring of support from the international community right after 9-11 and turning it completely around to the point where most of the rest of the world hates us...President Bush has broken our military by sending us into a war we didn't need to go to and he has broken our hearts with the deaths of our fathers, wives, and children in combat in Iraq. And despite all the mistakes of this Presidency, despite the incredible damage that has been done in the last four years, a majority of Americans have decided that they want to keep incompetence in office. How stupid are you? It will take years to repair the damage of the last four years and god knows how many more years once George Bush has another four years under his belt. I am completely dumbfounded at how the worst President in our history can get re-elected with the track record that he has. Are you people stupid? I can barely express my shock and awe at the fact that you are keeping Monkey Boy in office. Well, sit back and enjoy the fruits of the next four years...you did this.

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Final Thoughts...

2004-11-02T15:54:00.000-05:00

You may be familiar with the recent airing of a videotape of Osama Bin Laden. Some said it was a boost for the President, but after reading the transcript, it is far from that. It is a searing indictment of Bush and Bush, Sr.

It's things like this that remind me Osama is roaming free because we let him off the hook to pursue a dictator and a war that has cost us far too much in blood and tears. If we do anything, let's vote tomorrow to get Bush out of office and start to repair the wounds that he has inflicted on America.

Not very cheery, but when I think of all the bullshit of the last four years, I can't possibly imagine another four years of that. Please.....vote for John Kerry tomorrow.

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Whoohoo!!

2004-11-02T11:54:00.000-05:00

I waited in line 45 minutes this morning and cast my vote for a fresh start...John Kerry. Now, it remains to see how the rest of the country voted...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Miscellanious Shizzel...

2004-10-29T19:06:00.000-05:00

Well, well, well....the Red Sox win the World Series for the first time in 86 years. How sweet is that? The Patriots are two time Super Bowl champions. How about them Celtics? Naaah. But one can hope, right? The one thing bumming me about the Red Sox...Curt Schilling stumping for President Bush. Talk about dropping ten notches on the coolmeter, but I should have known...the way he spouts the Jesus references.

The election is only days away. Make sure you get out and vote....for John Kerry. We don't need another four years of the bullshit that President Dickhead has put us through. Prominent Republicans are putting their support behind Kerry....Bush blames the troops for the missing munitions that he NEVER guarded in Iraq- he was too busy guarding the oil. Fuckstick. How much damage does one man have to do before people realize that he shouldn't be President again?

Keep on blogging, brother...

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Celestine Movie Update...

2004-10-19T08:51:00.000-05:00

News on the upcoming movie adaptation of The Celestine Prophecy...

"From the Desk of James & Salle Redfield

October 2004

Salle and I are happy to report that The Celestine Prophecy Movie is
moving well through post-production. One of our fellow producers,
Barnet Bain, frequently reminds us that it is a lot like 'making
sausage.' He means, of course, that this process can also be a bit
scary.

Firstly, the raw footage of the film - the 'takes' - are selected for
their quality, their compatibility with planned visual effects, and
for what I like to call their 'proper energy'. Then, they are
assembled into a rough cut filled with temporary place holders,
inserted 'wild lines', (added dialogue to be recorded later) and music
markers. Methodically, they are ground into the final product. At
various stages, this 'sausage' is hardly recognizable as the vision
one started with, but slowly, like the statue that emerges from stone,
it evolves into a movie.

To make matters more challenging, The Celestine Prophecy sausage
appears to be even more 'gooey' than usual, simply because of all of
the layers. Like the book, and now the screenplay, this film is
intended to have several strata of meaning. On top is the rollicking
adventure story, entertaining in and of itself we hope. And
underneath, we weave a demonstration of evolutionarily advanced
ability and the transformational insights of our main character, as he
tries to measure up to his more advanced tutors. Lastly, we have a
layer of [CUT!] ... well, perhaps we should indeed leave that as a
surprise.

Anyway, you get the idea, it is a rather complicated affair that, as
with all such endeavors, can only reach its highest once we engage an
earnest trust in intuition, synchronicity, and interpersonal ethics.
At times, we might have been a bit slow to make a turn, but we have
always seemed to right the ship in time. It has been and continues to
be - great fun!

It appears that we are on track to be finished in December or January.
We will continue to keep you up to date and shortly we will continue
to add some intriguing images from the process.

Our intention remains for a 2005 release. So, stay tuned and help us
hold the vision!

Thank you for your interest, your focus and your continued prayers."

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Red Sox ALCS Game 5

2004-10-19T07:47:00.000-05:00

Once again, I used my new toy to write highlights during last night's
game. If you like play by play, read on. But if extreme details bore
you...skip it. It's just an experiment...

Red Sox ALCS Game 5

So far Pedro looks pretty good (other than that home run that Bernie
Williams hit on his first pitch). Two runs scored and we're up by
one. Mike Messina isn't looking up to full speed. He's definitely
not pitching like he did the other night when he started and pitched a
perfect game right until almost the seventh inning. It seems like,
despite having played until almost two in the morning last night, the
Red Sox have a new sense of purpose...some hope, especially after
pulling out the win last night when everyone thought they would be
swept by the Yankees.

Well, I go upstairs to put my son to bed and by the time I come back
twenty minutes later, Pedro has given up three runs to make it a 4-2
Yankee lead. He's done. Thank god he got out of this inning without
anymore damage. Meanwhile, Messina has cinched up the belt after
allowing those initial two runs. It's the bottom of the sixth and
we're still held to two runs. Mueller just hit a pop up to Bernie
Williams to end the inning. Yikes! It looks like Timlin will be
relieving Pedro. Our bullpen is pretty damn slim on pitching after
the extra innings last night and the number of pitchers we went
through in the first few games. We were switching pitchers faster
than you could shake a stick at.

Timlin starts on the mound with Bernie Williams. First two pitches
are balls. Williams breaks his bat hitting a pitch to the outfield
that is caught for the first out. Posada now at the plate. First
pitch hit to the outfield and caught by Manny. Two quick outs.
Looking good. Single base hit. Now Clark is on. Short pop to the
infield puts the third out in the bag. It's the seventh inning
stretch and some young looking chickie has come out to sing the
anthem. That was touching (can you hear the sarcasm?). So, Messina
is done and Tanyon Sturtz is in. We got Bellhorn on second, Damon
popped up and out and now Cabrera is up with one out. Full count- and
he walks! Two on base, one out. Manny is up. And, Sturtz is done.
Here comes Tom Gordon to pitch to Ramirez. 1-2 count. The pitch is
high and a ball. The 2-2 pitch...Manny hits it short and the double
play ends the inning. How depressing. The window is closing on our
comeback chances. Sigh. The pain. The pain! Cairo up for the eight
inning. Fuck! First pitch and he hits a double. Jeter up to the
plate. Damn, he shows bunt and Timlin pitches a ball low. Second
pitch, Jeter bunts for the out, but advances Cairo to third. One out
and a guy on third. Now pretty boy is up. A-Rod takes a ball and a
strike. Now the 2-1 pitch...nabs a strike. Nice. The pitch catches
A-Rod swinging for the second out. Is that a little sweat I see on
Timlin's brow? Cairo is festering over on third base. Man, I hate
that guy. Sheffield up to the plate. He talked some serious trash
after yesterday's game. I would love to see him shut down.
Okay...fuck. The 3-0 pitch...strike. Matsui warms up in the
background. One more strike and Sheffield lips off to the ump. Too
bad Sheffy. The 3-2 pitch nets a ball and Timlin walks Sheffield.
Runners on first and third as Matsui steps to the plate. Timlin is
done. Foulke is up. The 1-1 pitch...strike two swinging high. The
2-2 pitch...ball high and inside, almost taking Matsui out. Full
count...two outs...runners on first and third. The pitch...hits the
ball fly to left field and Manny pulls in the third out.

Starting the eight inning with Ortiz at bat. First pitch is a strike.
Second pitch....BAM BABY!! Home run all the way...and it's a one run
game with no outs. Millar at bat now. Meanwhile, Rivera warms up for
the Yankees. He's Mr. Closer and has done some damage to us the last
few games. We did put a chink in his armor last night, getting a
homer off him and ruining his perfect save record against us in the
post season. The 1-2 pitch to Millar...another ugly ball bouncing off
the plate. The fans have come back to life. Wow. Another ball.
Full count to Millar. The 3-2 pitch...and Millar steps back...score
one psych on Gordon. Millar gets the walk and there are still no
outs. Gabe Roberts comes to first to pinch run for Millar. He is
fast. Stole bases last night and got the run to tie the game. Gordon
starting to sweat a little. Trot Nixon is up to bat. Tying run at
first, noboby out here in the eight. The pitch to first fails to get
Roberts. Gordon gives the head fake to first, eliciting boos from the
crowd. The throw to first...again. Gordon wants Roberts bad. Gordon
waits and waits...he really wants that out. The look again. This is
madness. Posada comes out and chats with Gordon. The throw to first
again. This is ridiculous. He's only thrown one pitch to Nixon in
the last five minutes because he's spending so much time on Roberts.
He must be distracting himself pretty bad because he's thrown two
balls in a row now. The 3-1 pitch...Nixon hits a pop to the outfield
and Roberts is all the way to third before the Yankees know what hit
them. Runners on first and third with no outs. Looks like Gordon is
done. Rivera comes out. Kapler gets a base hit. Varitek on the
plate. He pops it out the centerfield for the out, but not before
Roberts comes home to tie the game. Bill Mueller at the plate. One
out, man on first and the game tied in the bottom of the eigth.
Mueller fly ball for the second out...Kapler to second. Bellhorn now
up to bat. The crowd is loving it. And Rivera may just be feeling
the crack in his armor. The 1-1 pitch...strike. Next pitch...pop
foul out of play. The 1-2 pitch...wide to even the count. A strike
out ends the inning. We go 4-4 into the ninth.

Foulke up to try and keep the Yankee bats cold. Bernie Williams pops
up the first pitch for a quick out. Posada up to the plate, with
Ruben Sierra on deck. The Red Sox are living one inning at a time
here tonight. Practically one pitch at a time. Time seems to stand
still as each pitch crosses the plate. Posada pops up for the second
quick out. Two down for Sierra as he steps up. The 3-1 pitch...damn,
he walks Ruben. Tony Clark steps to the plate with two outs and one
man on base. Foulke fills up the count with two strikes and a ball.
The 1-2 pitch...check on Sierra at first. The pitch...a hit to far
right field and bounces out for a ground rule double. Two outs to
Cairo with men on second and third. The situation looks a little
sketchy. The pitch...pop fly for the third out, leaving two Yankees
stranded and saving the score. Bottom of the ninth for the Red Sox
bats with a chance to win the game.

Rivera dealing with Damon, who has not been productive to this point
at all. Game tied at 4-4 with the chance to take the game. Could
this be Damon's chance to snap his hitting slump? Base hit for Damon,
shattering yet another bat. Cabrera at bat, Ramirez and Ortiz on deck
and in the wings. Rivera throws to first, but doesn't get the out.
The pitch to Cabrera...Damon tries to steal the base, but is thrown
out at second. One down with Cabrera at bat. The 2-1
pitch...grounder to second...thrown out at first. Ramirez up with two
down. No pressure. Ball one. The crowd is buzzing. Manny check
swings and gets the call. A-rod not happy, but too bad flyboy. Manny
hits the pop fly to center for the third out and we're going to extra
innings.

Bronsono Arroyo takes over for Foulke. Jeter up...pop fly out. Full
count to A-Rod. Swing and a miss! Two down...one left. Sheffield
gets the strike...complains...again. The 2-1 pitch...hit foul to left
field to even the count. Full count with Matsui on deck. Swing and a
miss!! Three down and the crowd goes nuts. The Sox look confident
and in control. Something they were lacking the first three games of
the series. Pitchers are putting in solid shifts and the bats are
starting to get warm. We go into the bottom of the tenth with yet
another chance to win the game. Rivera is done. Herredia takes over,
but has control issues. Ortiz up with Menkiewitz on deck. The Red
Sox are undefeated in extra inning games at home. Ortiz strikes out.
Menkiewitz at bat takes two balls in a row. The 2-0 pitch...another
ball. Herredia has to throw a strike...which he does. The 3-1
count..hit foul deep to the right field bleachers. Full
count...another foul tip. Another foul to right field. If anything,
he's tiring out Herredia, making him pitch long. And yet another foul
to right field. Four fouls in a row. Count is still full. The
pitch...hit far into right field. Sheffield misses the catch, which
bounces out for a ground rule double and the winning run is on second.
One out..Quantrill comes in to relieve Herredia. The glimmer is
starting to come into the eye of the Red Sox players. Kapler at the
plate with one down. The look to second and the crowd boos. Two
balls to Kapler. The base hit for the out. Varitek at the plate with
Mienkewitz at third now. Two down with the winning run at third. The
pitch...wide for a ball. Another ball...down low. The 2-0
pitch...nets a strike. Uneasy crowd noises. Varitek pops it up for
the third out and we go to the 11th, tied at 4-4.

New pitching for the Sox...Mike Meyers up. Strikes out Matsui.
Meyers did his job and now Embrie comes to the pitching mound. Bernie
up...hits a pop to the outfield for the base hit. One on, one out to
Posada. Strike one. Strike two. Swing and a miss for strike three.
Two down to Sierra, who is is three for three on the night. The 1-1
pitch...strike two on the 90 mph fastball. Strike three high for the
third, retiring the Yankees. Heading to the bottom of the 11th for
the Red Sox.

Mueller gets the base hit. No outs to Bellhorn, but the pitcher is
playing mind games with Mueller. Two bunt attempts now for Bellhorn
have turned into strikes. Still trying to get Mueller on first. The
0-2 pitch...rips one to the outfield for a base hit. Runners on first
and second with no outs. Damon steps to the plate. He is he best
bunter in the league and will probably sacrifice to get the runner to
scoring position. The pitch...pops the bunt up for the first out.
Quantrill, who came in for the inning is now done. The Yankees pull
Loaiza out to the pitching mound, effectively emptying the bullpen.
Cabrera steps to the plate with one out and men on first and second.
Ramirez on deck and Ortiz in the wings. The pitch...ball one. The
1-1 count...ball two. Hit to the infield for the double play to end
the inning. We're going to the top of the 12th inning.

Wakefield on the mound. First batter out. Cairo to the plate...hits
a single that turns into a double on an error from Manny. Jeter at
the plate. Dangerous, very dangerous. Fly ball to right
field...caught by Kapler for the second out. Cairo held to second
base. Two outs to A-Rod. Pop fly to center field...caught by Damon
to retire the Yanks. We go to the bottom of the 12th.

First batter out. Ortiz at the plate with Mienkewitz on deck. The
2-2 pitch...and a ball. Full count, one out to Ortiz. The walk. The
winning run on base, one out to Mienkewitz. The 1-1 count...another
ball. Ortiz runs for second and tags out. Suddenly it's two outs
with a 2-2 count to Mienkewitz. Replay shows that Ortiz was safe, but
gets the bum call. Mienkewitz strikes out to end the inning. We go
to the top of the 13th inning, still tied at 4-4. Two outs in two
innings from dumb steals for second. Sigh.

Sheffield, Matsui and Williams. Wakefield on the mound. The 2-1
pitch...wild swing for strike two. The 2-2 count...ball for full
count. It sounds like thunder in Fenway as fans rumble the bleachers.
A foul tip gets away from Varitek and gives up a base run for
Sheffield. Matsui at the plate. Wakefield gives Sheffield a few
tosses to keep him close to first base. The 1-0 pitch...a called
strike. The crowd is very quiet. The count drops to 3-1. The
pitch...a line drive to the infield for the out at second. One down
and a runner at first to Bernie Williams. Wakefield starts the count
with a strike. Williams hits a pop to the outfield that is caught for
the second out. Two down and a man on first to Posada. The 1-1
count. The knuckleball bounces off Varitek's glove...Matsui steals
second. The intentional walk on Posada puts Sierra at the plate with
two outs and men on first and second. The pitch...strike one. The
crowd gets to their feet and starts applauding. The foul tip for
strike two. The 0-2 pitch for the ball quiets the crowd...a ball.
The knuckleball comes out of the glove of Varitek and runners steal
second and third. Full count to Sierra with two outs and men on
second and third. The pitch for the strike and the inning is over.
How close was that? It's into the bottom of the 13th for the Sox.

The 2-2 count for Mienkewitz...hits a line drive to the pitcher, who
catches it for the first out. Varitek is on base with one down. A
ground ball to first for the second out. Mueller steps to the plate
with two down. There's action in the bullpen. Lescanic may come back
in. Mueller hits the foul tip for the first strike. Called strike.
The 0-2 count...pop out to center field and Matsui catches the ball to
end the inning. Heading to the top of the 14th.

Whew...too tired to keep track. I'll give the general wrap up for
each inning. All three batters retired. We go to the bottom of the
14th.

Bellhorn, Damon, Cabrera. Bellhorn out...Damon on base...Cabrera
out...Manny walked. Ortiz to the base with two outs and men on first
and second. Ortiz hits it far to the outfield...Damon runs home for
the win after 14 innings of play. For the second night in a row,
Ortiz ends the game with a hit. The Red Sox are going back to New
York. Yankee Stadium here we come!!!

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Red Sox ALCS Game 4...

2004-10-19T07:45:00.000-05:00

I have a new toy...a portable word processor. And I used it the last
two night's to write about the Red Sox games going on. Read on...

Red Sox ALCS Game 4

I told myself I wouldn't watch. It would be too painful to see the
Red Sox get swept in four games to the Yankees. But, like all good
fans, I dutifully turned the game on and watched. I watched as we
took the lead and then the Yankees tied. I watched as we went through
extra innings with the game tied at 4-4. The hour getting later and
later. Soon it was almost 1:30 in the morning and they were still
tied. This game had become like most things Red Sox...a soap opera, a
drama for the ages. A colossal battle of the pitchers until finally
in the 12th, Ortiz hits the home run that drives in two runs and seals
the deal for Sox Nation. Man. I sighed and clicked off the tv,
allowing myself to have the faintest glimmer of hope that they might
just do it. They might just do the impossible and win four games in a
row to go to the World Series. Hope springs eternal, they say, and so
I wait for tomorrow night's game.

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

I always knew Cheney was evil...

2004-10-18T14:01:00.001-05:00

http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4041

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

NYT Endorses John Kerry for President...

2004-10-18T14:01:00.000-05:00

Nice, very nice....scathing, but true accounting of Mr. Bush's time in office...

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/10/17/opinion/17sun1.html

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail Address AutoComplete - You start. We finish.

Jon Stewart Rocks...

2004-10-18T13:35:00.000-05:00

Oh man....I love his show. He hits it more dead on the nail than most real newscasters. This highlight reel from his appearance on CNN's Crossfire is priceless. Somebody had to do it, I'm glad it was him...

http://www.dailyrecycler.com/blog/2004/10/jon-stewart-on-crossfire.html

~The Purgulist (taking shots at the net since 2004)

The O'Reilly Oh Oh...

2004-10-15T10:19:00.000-05:00

Wonderful news from The Smoking Gun. That jackass, Bill O'Reilly is being sued over lewd remarks he made to a woman over several phone conversations...lewd phone sex...and it's all detailed in her lawsuit. Good reading, if you can stomach the idea of Mr. B.O. talking like a dirty old man to, well, yeah....hmm...

~The Purgulist

Thursday Purge-day: Just the facts, m'am...

2004-10-07T13:46:00.000-05:00

The Master Debators

More fallout from the Vice-Presidential Debate. Cheney claims to have never met Senator Edwards before the night of the debate. Hmm, what's this then? And, Cheney claims to have never made a connection between Saddam and 9/11? How does he explain this? And perhaps the funniest thing to come out of the debate was Cheney trying to be hip and mentioning a website on air- factcheck.com. Duh! Hello? It's factcheck.org and is a great site that does a very good job of exposing the lies and rhetoric of both campaigns pretty evenly. Since the debate, George Soros (the man behind MoveOn.org) has bought up the URL factcheck.com and used it to point to his own personal Bush-bashing website. That is just plain brilliance. I love it! By the way, here's an unauthorized bio of Cheney.

Presidential Puppet?

New claims that President Bush had an earpiece during the debate. That he was coached. And yet, still fumbles and sounds like a moron. How would he sound without a piece? Yikes. By the way, George's resume is a beaut.

From The Onion

Shocking tales of cushion fort abuse.

Poll Position

"USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population." - Dave Letterman. Polls are meaningless. The only poll we need to pay attention to is the one taken on November 2nd.

Weird News

Accused killer elected mayor.
Canada is trying to deport a flying squirrel.
Gas in toilet ignites...man "this close" to having ass blown off.
Bashful Japanese women use the Sound Princess to cover toilet noises.
I've heard of the dog ate my homework, but this....this is ridiculous.

That's all the news that's fit to blog. Purgulist out...

~The Purgulist

Wednesday Purge: Well, la-de-freakin-da...

2004-10-06T14:34:00.000-05:00

From The Smoking Gun
(http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1004041accusera1.html)...transcripts
released from Koby Bryants police deposition. What a putz.
Everything from slamming Shaq to throwing a Monica Lewinsky at the
investigators. This guy single-handedly destroyed the Lakers team by
getting rid of Phil Jackson and Shaq. You deserve everything you get
this year when your team is the laughing stock of the NBA.

From Wetwired (http://www.wetwired.org/2004/10/vice-presidential-debate-thoughts.html)...since
the VP debate, the MoveOn.org dude has bought the URL
www.factcheck.com and pointed it to his own personal Bush-bashing
website. I think this is hilarious. When Dick Cheney mentioned the
website erroniously in his debate, I knew right away he had gotten the
URL wrong...it's www.factcheck.org. This is just too good....too
funny...I love it...

~The Purgulist

Presidential Debates...

2004-10-06T12:48:00.000-05:00

Did you watch the first few debates? The first Presidential debate
was an eye opener. It was nice to see John Kerry so in control and
Presidential. He seemed to have a good command of the facts and owned
the conversation. President Bush, meanwhile, looked like an idiot.
He was angry and agitated and kept spitting out catch phrases like a
parrot who can't think but knows what to say.

I just watched the Vice-Presidential debate last night and was
similarly impressed with John Edwards. He started out a little cold,
but warmed up and was pretty impressive. I have to give credit to
Dick Cheney. He is a great debater...thoughtful, intelligent, and a
lot more cool-headed than President Dickhead. I could see Cheney as
President more than I could see Bush. Hell, Cheney probably IS the
President and Bush is just the body double. Who knows. It will be
interesting to see these last few weeks before the election. There
are two more debates between Bush and Kerry and a lot of mudslinging
that will happen in between. I only hope that America wakes up and
sees that George Bush is heading the country in the wrong direction
and that we need a regime change at the highest office. Did I mention
Vote Kerry?

~The Purgulist

Sunday Purge: Shooting Fish in a Barrel...

2004-09-26T12:45:00.000-05:00

(Publishing of an old post from September...)

How about them Red Sox? Very nice route of the Damn Yankees. Let's see how our luck holds up.

Some gems from The Smoking Gun: The transcript of Kobe Bryant's police interview...all 57 pages. More people bitching about license plates. When child actors go bad, on the next Fox special- this time that snot-nosed brat from Home Alone got pinched by the fuzz. Finally, we all know GW is dumbass, but how about the VP (vitriolic prick) Dick Cheney?

Check out Michael Moore's Slacker Uprising Tour...coming to a swing state near you soon!

GMail invites...

2004-09-16T13:19:00.000-05:00

I have six. Email me at thepurge[at]gmail.com and ask for one. I'll get to you when I can. Thanks!

"I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum." ~Frances Willard

The Purge

My email was hacked!

I Hate...

GMail Invites...

Long time no urinate...

Link purge...

Rovinator Roundup...

Check Reality at the Door...

Milestone...

The Smoking Post...

Fuckstick alert...

Flogging may lead to blindness...

Drop it like it's Hot...

The Smoking Post...

Yackity Yack...

Celestine Prophecy Movie Update...

Stale blog...fresh post...

Link Golf...the Bottom Nine...

McBitches and Hoes...

Sausage posting...now with more links...

Bloglines best picks...

Naval gazing...

The Smoking Post...

Fire up the reefer, man...

Die, Klause, Die!!

The Smoking Post...

Benji the Hunted...

Mmmmmkay?

May Cause Swelling...

Tightening your bible belt...

Retard Wrestling...

Funny ass billboards...

Ash rocks on...

Color commentary on crash...

Crime spree...

About to get medieval on your ass...

File under WTF....

The Blogs Must Be Crazy...

Gangster mail...

Video game friskiness...

Ghetto Google, pimp...

Get the 4-1-1- on Farts...

New Year's Resolutions...

Bush Lite...same great President, with half the brains...

Frothy adult beverage...

Praise Jesus and Pass the Butter...

McVomitville...

The Has-Been Hotline...

QT on the QT...

Totally vomitlicious, eh?

Where do you come from?

Who are you?

Motor City Madness...

Paging Dr. Feelgood...

Noooooooooooooooo...............

The Wild Bush-man of Borneo...

Bushwacking in the USA...

The Daily Head Count...

Bush Intel...

Grieving the election...

More election post mortem...

Check my Shizzel...

The Smoking Post...

The Revolution will be Blogged...

An open letter to President Bush...

George Bush in Hell...

Nauseau ad nauseum...

Final Thoughts...

Whoohoo!!

Miscellanious Shizzel...

Celestine Movie Update...

Red Sox ALCS Game 5

Red Sox ALCS Game 4...

I always knew Cheney was evil...

NYT Endorses John Kerry for President...

Jon Stewart Rocks...

The O'Reilly Oh Oh...

Thursday Purge-day: Just the facts, m'am...

Wednesday Purge: Well, la-de-freakin-da...

Presidential Debates...